Make you feel my love
by killians-dashingrescue
Summary: CS High School AU two-shot. Emma Swan is starting a new year in high school and she is less than thrilled to start the year given who her classmates are. Emma finds an unexpected friendship with Killian Jones, the school's troublemaker.
1. Chapter 1

**So a couple of weeks ago I reblogged on tumblr a list of numbers with smut prompts. I received a ton and I'm slowly working myself up those ask. I had two anons asking for _#6 Clothed getting off_ and one of them asked for _#3 First time_ as well. I started working on those two numbers and my muse got carried away and this drabble turned out to be two-shot. So the first part will be written based on #6 and the second part on #3 (which should probably posted tonight or tomorrow morning).**

**I hope you all like it!**

**Oh and it's not edited so ignore the mistakes.**

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Another school year was starting off and Emma wasn't feeling very enthusiastic this year. Her friends Ruby, Mary Margaret and David were not going to be in any of her classes and that fact alone was enough to put a frown on her face on the very first day.

She entered her classroom and scanned the room looking for at least one familiar friendly face and when she saw none, she walked towards the front of the class and claimed a desk in the first row since all the others have already been taken. Awaiting for Professor Sloan to enter the room, Emma decided to get a better look at her classmates and cursed to herself when she realized that it was filled with jocks, Regina and her pawns, a couple of troublemakers such as Killian Jones, and a few low key students like her. She mainly recognized Tink at the other end of the class who was doing pretty much the same as her, and both smiled timidly at each other.

When Professor Sloan entered the class, she quickly remembered why kids in the school called him Professor Slow: he was old, talked slowly and had no authority with his students. Her classmates quickly started to talk all over their teacher as he attempted to explain the curriculum for the first semester. When Killian Jones raised his hand and made a pretty rude comment about their teacher being boring and making the rest of her class laugh she sighed heavily as she wondered how she was going to get through this year.

The first couple of weeks passed by and Emma realized how school had become more or less bearable. Outside of class she was happy and enjoying having a social life with her small group of friends. But as soon as she walked into one of her classes, a knot in her stomach appeared and dreaded the next few hours that were about to come.

Tink had made things a bit easier, she was as uncomfortable and unhappy to have been put in that class and they quickly became friends as they both tried to get through their day. As the weeks went by, their respective group of friends started to hang out together, that's how she met Neal.

Emma instantly felt this attraction towards him, but felt awkward on actually making a move on it. Despite her confident exterior, she did feel kind of shy and insecure when it came to her looks. She was almost seventeen and she still didn't had the chance to kiss a boy (not even a small peck) and she started to wonder if she would ever get the chance to. She knew that she wasn't bad looking, but she also didn't feel like she was the most beautiful girl out there. Emma automatically let her feelings for Neal on the back burner and let herself pursuit a friendship with him knowing that it was impossible for him to ever flirt or show any signs of attraction towards her.

The days slowly started to blend in together as the semester went on. Emma appreciated her new routine, taking the bus alone in the morning as she listened to her music as she watched the scenery pass by her. Arriving at school she spent at least half an hour with her group of friends before heading to her classes with Tink as they supported each other.

Their classes unfolded the same way each day, Regina giving them the stink eye as she gossiped with her friends, the jocks screaming and slapping each others back and Killian Jones would turn around and wink at her each time her reaction being a roll of her eyes and then at least once a day, he would be sent over at the principal's office. Then came lunchtime and Emma had an hour and half to enjoy the company of the people she appreciated the most.

One morning as she got in the bus, headphones covering her ears as the music clouded her mind, she sat on a empty seat near the window sighing as she watched the buildings pass by her. Emma didn't pay attention to the person sitting in the seat next to her until she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around and couldn't help the shock look that must have appeared on her face when she realized that Killian Jones was sitting next to her as he gave her a toothy grin.

Emma dragged her headphones down until they hung around her neck and looked at her least favorite classmate with a confused look.

"What do you want?" She asked him harshly which earned her a deep chuckle from him, annoying her even more.

"How about 'Good Morning' first, eh Swan?" Emma tried to suppress the new and unexplainable flutter that his accent mixed with the way he looked at her had stirred in her, his blue eyes sparkling with a hint of teasing in them.

"Good Morning, what do you want? Is that better?"

Once again, Killian smirked at her less than welcoming greeting and shuffled on his seat as he got himself comfortable.

"There could be less hate in that tone, but I think it'll do for now. As to why I'm doing here, well I'm taking the bus and this was the only free seat. I thought it was quite obvious."

Emma looked around and noticed that the bus was in fact full and looked at him once more before quickly avoiding his gaze as she murmured a 'whatever'.

They sat in silence for two stops before Killian decided to ask her random questions about their classmates and what she thought of them. Emma kept her eyes on the window next to her as she tried to appreciate the scenery but found it hard when he wouldn't get the hint that she didn't want to talk to him.

"Don't want to answer? Fine, I will." As he took in a deep breath, Emma swirled her head around and blurted out the question that she have been asking herself ever since she saw him in the classroom.

"Why are you such a jerk?"

His thick eyebrows shot upwards as he gave a shocked look. Emma let out a groan seeing how he was mocking her and decided to stop being polite. She put her headphones back on and crossed her arms in front of her chest as she turned her head to look back outside. She knew she couldn't enjoy the rest of the bus ride as she usually did as her body was now all tense and the company beside her making it hard to get rid of the frown that had settled.

His fingers tapped on her shoulder once again as Emma turned her head to look at him with an aggravated look. Killian had an apologetic face, one that she never thought was possible as he gestured her to take off her headphones.

"Look, I'm sorry Swan." He started off as he then paused to look around him as he quickly let his tongue moist his lips before looking at her again. "You want to know why I'm such a jerk?"

Emma was taken aback with the sudden honest look he was given her, and the way he had ask her if she wanted to know why he acted that way was devoid of mockery or any teasing tone, a side of him that she had never seen.

She locked her eyes with him briefly, instantly looking away as the intensity and blue of his eyes were too much for her. She nodded her head, and tried to look at him without meeting his eyes.

"I act like a jerk because I don't want to be here. I don't want to be at this school and I certainly don't want to be in this town. I'm telling myself that if I become enough of a nuisance, I'll be expelled and my father won't have any other choice but to send me back to England where I really want to be." He finished talking as he awaited for her reaction.

Her mouth parted slightly as she finally took the courage to lock her eyes with him and saw nothing but raw honesty.

"Is that what you wanted know?" He asked her, Emma letting out a soft 'yes'.

They arrived at their destination minutes later, both disembarking together as they walked side by side with a heavy silence between them. As they entered the main hall together, Emma wondered what to do now, not knowing if she should just leave without saying anything.

"See you later Swan." Killian told her as he pulled her out of her musings before heading out towards his locker.

Emma watched him walk away for a brief moment before walking towards her own locker and then meeting up with her friends.

-/-

Since that day her morning routine changed. She took the habit of taking the bus with Killian and after a couple of weeks she even saved the seat next to her. Emma still was baffled with the friendship (or whatever she could call it) that had blossomed between the two of them, but she looked forward on talking to him each morning.

They talked about everything, their conversations (more like playful banter) was filled with sassy comebacks which sometimes led them to laugh pretty damn loud. At school, things didn't change much. He kept being this asshole, but the difference was that everytime she looked up at him, he gave a her a soft smile. Her classmates didn't notice it, not even Tink, and she liked that she had this secret relationship with him. She felt privileged to see another side of him, one that she hoped was his true nature and not the façade he had in school.

Some time after the Christmas vacations, they started to have those silent conversation between them. She understood quite fast what one look meant, and sometimes Emma ended up quietly chuckle in her corner. Each time she looked back up, she saw this proud look on his face, one that told her he was quite please with himself that he managed to make her laugh. Those moments made her days less dull and awkward.

Things changed also changed with her group of friends as they now always hung out with Tink and her friends. That meant that she had the chance to spend more time with Neal. Emma couldn't deny that crush she had for him, especially since he always managed to sit next to her and gave her one of those smiles, the ones that made her cheeks flush and butterflies party in her stomach.

Mary Margaret was positively sure that Neal had a thing for Emma. She had her doubts, as she always did, but there was this feeling in her gut that told her that her overly optimistic friend might be right. That thought alone was strong enough to made her heart swell and ache at the same time. The need to know if it was true and the crippling fear of being turned down was sometimes overwhelming.

Emma saw an opportunity to see Neal outside of school when they heard a rumor in the hallways that Regina was throwing a open house at her parents mansion. The rumor was confirmed by Killian the next morning and she wasn't surprised when he told her that he would be attending.

She wasn't sure if she wanted to go, never being one of those party people since she much more enjoyed staying at home and watch a movie. Ruby on the other hand, really wanted to go and insisted on them to join her. Emma felt more compelled to go when Neal said that he would be going.

That's how she ended up at the party, overwhelmed by the amount of classmates that decided to show up. Emma stayed close to her friends as they grabbed a cup filled with punch. She didn't know what to expect from her evening since she never went to parties but she at least thought that they would all hang out together.

How wrong she was.

After an hour she found herself alone in one corner after Ruby started to talk with another student, Victor, a guy she sometimes caught glimpse of. Mary Margaret and David were cocooned together in one of the seldom free couches, and well Neal, he was apparently quite taken with a girl that she knew was named Tamara.

Emma took another sip of her third cup of punch and looked around her wondering why she was still there. Oh right. Mary Margaret's father was their lift.

She let out a deep sigh as she tried to keep the tears at bay as she tried to keep her eyes from landing on Neal (which showed her how weak her self-control was). Suddenly, someone came to stand next to her as she didn't even bother to turn around, not interested on having company.

"Why the long face?" She instantly recognized the voice, and only then did she managed to look at the person standing next to her.

Killian had a concerned look molding the lines of his face. She felt herself crack bit by bit when she felt his warm hand squeeze her shoulder in a reassuring way. Emma took in a shaky breath as the tears started to roll down her cheeks.

He quickly grabbed her hand as he pulled her towards the corridor, his arm then curling around her shoulder as he dragged her in one of the many empty rooms of the mansion. The room was dark, the only light present was the one seeping through the windows, the room lighten by the moon. Killian walked over to the nightstand to turn on the small lamp but stopped when Emma told him not to.

"I don't want you to see me crying." She told him as she sobbed.

She heard him sigh as he then slowly made his way up to her. His arms went around her as he pulled her in a comforting hug. She nuzzled her face in the crook of his neck, tears leaving his shirt damp. One hand caressed the back of her head while the other caressed her back as she let her emotions take hold of her.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" He whispered in her ear, his voice soothing and concerned at the same time.

She shook her head on his chest as he then grabbed her shoulders and leaned her back to see her. Despite the room being dark, she could still see the lines of his face and her heart clenched as she noticed the worried look he was giving her.

"I'm a fool." She murmured.

Killian cocked his head to the side, clearly wondering why she would say something like that.

"You're no fool. Why…" Emma cut him off before giving him the chance to ask her why.

"I am. How could I have been so stupid and think that a guy could actually like me? Am I that unlovable?"

The questions slipped out of her lips, but she didn't expect him to respond. Instead she looked down as she took in a ragged breath.

"Why would you think such a thing?" His hand went to cup her chin and lifted her head slowly so would look at him even in the darkness.

"You are wonderful Emma and any other bloke that tells you otherwise is a damn fool. Listen to me Swan, you are stunningly beautiful."

Her breath got caught in her lungs as she heard him say those words. Before she knew it, she leaned in as her hands went to cradle the back of his neck, as she pulled him in a soft kiss. She didn't know why she did it, but she needed it to do it.

"Emma…" He murmured on her lips before she pressed them against his once more, this time a tad more insistent.

"Don't talk, just kiss me." She whispered back, he didn't need to be told twice.

It was then that she had the sudden realization that she was being kissed for the first time, and she honestly didn't care that it didn't happen the way she wanted to be when it felt so damn good. Killian tilted his head to the side as he deepened the kiss as he sucked on her upper lip, a soft moan slipping out from her.

Her fingers grasped a fistful of his hair while his hands trailed down her back, and she could feel his fingers twitching to cup her ass. She pressed her hips on his, the action making him groan, the sound giving her more courage to do what was next.

She turned them around and blindly guided them towards the empty bed until the back of his knees bumped the edge of the bed. Killian took the hint and sat on the mattress as he guided Emma on his lap. He nibbled her bottom lip, silently seeking permission to push the kiss forward. She opened her mouth and let his tongue caress hers, the sensation so exhilarating that she didn't even know that her hips started to press down on his, her clothed core grinding on his bulge.

Emma broke the kiss as a loud and unexpected moan slipped out, her hands now clutching at his shoulders as she tried to seek more of the sensations that their actions was giving her. Killian's mouth went to her collarbone, softly yet desperately kissing the exposed skin as she kept pressing her bundle of nerves on his straining erection.

She was not unfamiliar with the building sensation of an orgasm as she occasionally explored herself in the intimacy of her bedroom, but having that thrill build this way, with another person was a whole other thing.

"Oh God." She panted when Killian thrusted his hips up, as he let out a moan in the process.

"Emma. Oh, Emma." His voice was strangled, and hearing how much this affected him as well was enough for her to reach that blinding peak, as she let the feeling roll down her body.

Her forehead went to rest on his as she felt her body go limp. Her breathing was now slowly returning to its normal rate, but quickly noticed that Killian wasn't.

"I..did you..?" She trailed off and felt Killian shake his head.

"No. I was close though." Emma suddenly felt bad, and she would blame the haze and alcohol clouding her judgement for the words that came out of her mouth next.

"Can I do something?" She heard him trying to reply as he stammered a jumble of words.

Her recent high gave a boldness she didn't knew she possessed and lifted her hips a tad and unbuckled his pants as she temptatively cupped his erection. Killian sucked in a breath when she did, and was submerged with this empowering feeling. Her shaky fingers pulled the fabric of his underwear low enough for his cock to slip out of it. The room may be dark and made it difficult to see his erection (which she was quite curious to see what it looked like) but settled for feeling it.

Emma's heart started to race once again when she curled her hands around him and was impressed on how hard he was in contrast with the silky skin. His hand went to cover hers as he silently showed her how to move her hand around him, and found out quickly how easy it was to slide her hand up and down, squeezing lightly around it until he was gibbering mess.

A silent cry escaped his lips as his release spurred on her hand, some of his seed dripping on down his shaft. Emma looked at her hand, still in shock on this moment ended, clearly not expecting this (well she didn't know what to expect). When Killian finally managed to open his eyes again, and saw her staring at her hand, his fingers curled around her wrist as he softly apologized.

"It's okay." She mumbled before getting up and making her way to the adjacent bathroom. ç

She turned on the lights, the brightness a contrast to the darkness of the room she was previously in as it made her eyes squint for a brief moment. Emma washed her hand and when she was done, looked herself in the mirror.

Her hair was dishevelled as his fingers kept running through her locks, her cheeks were tinted pink, her lips red and swollen. That's when the realization of what they had just done dawn on her. An intense need to flee overcame her and made a quick move to dry her hands and got out of the bathroom as quickly as she could.

Killian was waiting for her in the bedroom in which they shared their intimate moment, the room now lighten with the small lamp next to the nightstand. He looked as wrecked as she was, his hair pointing in every direction, his cheeks as pink as hers, lips also red and swollen. She had this need to kiss him again, wanting to feel every parts of him on her, but fear was more prominent as she started to chastise herself for everything she had done with him that evening.

"Thanks Killian but I need to go." She said hastily and her heart ached when she saw the disappointed look on his face, as he hoped to at least talk with her about whatever happened a couple of minutes early.

"Emma listen…"

"Sorry, but I really need to go." She told him as she walked out of the room as fast as she could.

Once she rejoined the life of the party, she saw her friends now all hanging out together and went to them as if they were her lifeline. She kept her eyes fixed on her group of friends, grateful that most of them were sloshed so they didn't noticed her flustered state, and she waited for the next half hour to pass by, when they would finally be able to leave the party.

Emma went to bed that night exhilarated, sad and confused. She still felt self-conscious for having feelings for Neal, knowing that they wouldn't be reciprocated. At the same time, she couldn't help but relive the moment she had spent with Killian. Who would've thought that Killian would have been her first kiss, and her first guy to give her an orgasm. Her heart rate increased as she thought of him, and felt confused on what she felt for him.

He was her friend, there was no doubt about that no matter how unconventional their friendship may be. She would also be lying to herself if she didn't admit that he was handsome, charismatic and sexy, and that at one point during their numerous bus ride, she wondered what it would be like to have something more.

Emma groaned in frustration as her arms hit her mattress. She still had Sunday to figure everything out and decide what to do and say when she was going to see Killian on the bus on Monday morning.


	2. Chapter 2

**I finally pulled it off and finished writing this last part... a week later than expected. Sorry for those who were waiting for the next part on Monday morning, but life got in the way. You can throw things at me, I deserve it. **

**SO. This part is part is based on**_** #3 First time. **_**Hope you all like it! Once again it isn't edited so ignore the mistakes (I'm to excited to finally give you this).**

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Monday arrived way too quickly in Emma's opinion. She spent the weekend thinking about the situation she got herself in with Killian, shame and guilt overcame her each time. Shame that he saw her in such a vulnerable position, crying over her insecurities, wondering if anyone would ever like her and guilt on ruining their friendship.

She wanted to regret what happened despite those negative feelings that haunted her but found it hard to. Being with Killian that intimately was extremely pleasurable and thrilling. He was now her first kiss, and well, her first everything in what foreplay was concerned. She had never experienced anything like it and she didn't know if she should be happy that it was him or not.

Emma had imagined that her first kiss would have been with a potential boyfriend or someone special (not that Killian wasn't special but it wasn't the same thing). She would be lying to herself if she didn't admit that she was attracted to Killian, because let's face it, the man was sex on legs. But, that was it. She wasn't in love with him, she didn't even like him that way, she liked Neal. Killian's reputation also what made her cringe in all of this, the bad boy and the man whore reputation. She tried to tell herself that it didn't mean anything for him, at most, he did that with her because she was sad and needed someone there.

The bus arrived on time and Emma felt awful and like such a coward when she decided to take an earlier bus, not wanting to cross path with him right away. She knew it was stupid, she would see him eventually in class, but at least there, she would be surrounded by her friends and an ocean of other students. Their friendship was kind of a secret, her friends didn't know they talked and she assumed his didn't know either.

Emma tried to listen Tink who was telling her every gossip she heard at the party, but found it hard to listen when her heart was pounding so hard that it resonated in her ears and her eyes that kept glancing at the door each time someone came in. She felt herself freeze when Killian entered the room, a somber look clouding his handsome traits and suddenly felt as if she was responsible for it.

Killian made a beeline towards his desk at the opposite of her, and lifted his eyes towards her only when he was seated. She quickly looked back in front of her, and knew it was useless since he saw her looking at him, and once again, she felt horrible especially after seeing the saddened look he had.

Throughout the class, she tried as best as she could to listen to Professor Sloan, but found it hard when she had to restrain herself from looking back and look at him. She let herself succumb to the need and it was enough for her to not do it again. Killian had his eyes on her, and she presumed he did the rest of the class.

When their lesson ended, Emma quickly packed her bag and told Tink she needed to use the bathroom before heading to their math class with Professor Gold. She hurried out of the room, being careful on not looking at him and quickly made her way towards the bathroom to take refuge, as she needed a moment to compose with herself. Her plan failed when she heard someone calling her out, recognizing the accent all too well.

"Emma! Wait." She kept walking as if she didn't hear him. She was so close to her destination she couldn't stop now.

"Stop avoiding me." Killian told her as he reached her. Emma finally stopped and turned around to look at him as she felt the tension inside her build very fast, not knowing how to deal with whatever this was between them.

"What do you want Killian, I need to go the bathroom before I head to Professor Gold's class." She crossed her arms in front her, her eyes averting his as she tried to have the most casual voice.

He shifted on his feet as he let out a deep sigh. He closed the space between them until there was only a few inches separating them, Emma's pulse now racing as she tried to keep her breathing in check.

"Why are you avoiding me? " He asked his voice low, his eyes locking with hers which made it difficult to think straight.

"I'm not avoiding you." Emma answered defensively while Killian shook his head, his finger gesturing between them.

"This is avoiding me." He looked around him as he licked his lips and she couldn't help but to follow the movement of his tongue. She instantly chastised herself for doing so, as she was still trying to deal with what happened.

"If you don't want to talk about it…"

"It's not that I don't want to. I was sad and drunk okay? What happened isn't something that I ever did before, so you can't blame me for feeling guilty and ashamed. I fucked things up between us and I just don't know what to do or say now."

"You don't need to say or do anything. I value you our friendship more than you think and I don't want it to be over because of that. Let's just put it behind us, and keep going." Killian proposed as he had the most hopeful look on his face.

"Won't it be awkward if we do?"

"Isn't this avoiding thing even more awkward?" He shot back, which actually made her chuckle at the absurdity of all this.

Killian laughed along with her which made the air between them less tense and thick, loosening her nerves. After a moment, Emma looked at her watch and noticed that their class was about to start, her eyes widening at the realization.

"We're going to be late." He nodded at her comment and stepped back as they both walked over to their classroom.

Emma was about to enter but was stopped when his hand grasped her wrist and softly tugged her back.

"Will I see you in the bus tomorrow morning?" Her heart warmed and her stomach fluttered when she saw the expectant look he had, and could see how much he wanted her to say yes.

"Yeah." She breathed out before entering the room.

-/-

Their friendship never regained that easiness that they had before the incident as she called it. It took them a week or two before there wasn't a hint of awkwardness, and even after there was always a lingering feeling. They never talked about it, Emma was glad they didn't since she didn't even know how to explain why she did it.

One morning near the end of February, Killian entered the bus without his usual smirk which instantly told Emma something was off. He came and sat next to her as usual, mumbling a 'Good morning' without even looking at her and sat next to her. The ride was painfully silent after some attempts from Emma to start up a conversation which failed when he didn't responded or grunted his response.

During the day, she kept an eye on him and noticed that even with his friends he seemed to be cold and distant. They normally didn't talk to each other during the day, spending more time talking to each other in the morning or calling and texting each other in the evening. But today, Emma was too worried to wait for her to call him later that day.

Emma saw him from her side of the cafeteria as he got up and walked towards a vending machine. She saw it as her chance to see him, and got up as she told her friends she forgot that she needed to return a book at the library. Ruby shot her a look, sensing that she was hiding something from them.

She walked as fast as she could trying to reach Killian. He was bending down as he was grabbing the soda he had just bought for himself. Emma tapped on his shoulder as he straightened himself and turned around to face her, a confused look on his face.

"Emma?" He looked around him, clearly not used to talk to her when they were around that many classmates. "What's wrong?"

"That was supposed to be my line." She told him as she locked her eyes with him, trying to figure out what was haunting him.

He sighed as he made a move to walk past her, but Emma stopped him before he could, curling her hand around his wrist and dragging him down the hallway. Killian followed her without saying a word, knowing her well enough that there was no point on telling her everything was fine. If he could read her as an open book, so did she.

Emma walked them over to one of her secret hidings she had found as she explored the school when she first arrived. She walked over to the poor lighted staircase and sat in of one of the stairs, and tapped the empty space next to her, encouraging for him to sit next to her. He reluctantly came to fill the spot at her side and looked around him.

"How did you find this place?" He asked her, knowing that he was trying to postpone her upcoming therapy session.

"When I first got here I didn't know anybody so I just wandered around school and found this. I still come here when I need to be alone."

"So you are sharing your secret hiding with me?"

"Apparently. I know you'll keep it a secret, I trust you." The glint in his eyes told her that he was quite taken with what she had just told him.

Emma cleared her throat as she turned to face him again.

"What's wrong?" She asked her voice soft and reassuring as she wanted him to tell her what for him in such a mood.

Killian let out a deep sigh as his shoulders slumped. He turned to look at her and her heart ached when she saw the saddened look he had on his face.

"I'm going back to England." He answered his voice barely above a whisper, which made her lean closer to make sure she heard right.

Emma felt frozen as she tried to understand why he was this upset. She remembered the first time they had talked, he had told her that he wanted to leave here, not only the school but the country and that he wanted to get back to England. She wouldn't deny that the news upsetted her, she didn't want him to go but if it was what he wanted, who was she to tell him not to. What didn't add up, was his words from six months ago and how he was acting right now.

"You don't want to go anymore?" She tentatively asked as her hand fell on his knee in a reassuring gesture. Killian was biting his bottom lip as he tried to figure out how to explain this to her.

"It's not for the reason's I would like to go and I'll be coming back in a month or two."

"Then what's the problem?" Emma asked him even more confused that she was before.

"I'm torn. I've been wanting to go for as long as I can remember but now that I can, there's someone holding me back, even if it is for a couple of weeks." He lifted his head that has been hanging low between his slumped shoulders, his blue eyes shining with such honesty that made Emma's breath hitch.

She had an inkling of who that person might be, but she instantly denied it, convinced that it was just her imagining things, her reading very badly in between the lines.

"Who is it?" She whispered.

"Don't you know Emma, it's you."

Her eyes were now wide as she took in his confession. She knows that those words implied more than what they seemed project. Emma shook her head not wanting acknowledge his words, not ready for the impact they held and how complicated things may get now.

His hands went to cover hers, the touch enough to bring her attention back to him. He was silently begging her to listen to him, and even if she didn't want to she felt as if her body was glued to her spot.

"How...how long?" Emma managed to say. She needed to know, she doesn't know why but she needed to know.

"Ever since that first bus ride. Emma, do you know how amazing you are?" Her chest was now heaving, her breathing shallow and it felt as if her chest was about to explode overwhelmed by what he was admitting to her.

"That night at the party I thought I was dreaming. I have dreamt about you in my arms so many times." Her eyes fluttered at his words, not quite able to wrap her mind over the fact that Killian Jones, the school bad boy, her friend thought and felt this way about her.

"You can't." Killian's thick eyebrows furrowed at her words. He shook his head lightly as his lips started to form his words but was interrupted before he even could.

"You can't say these things to me and then go! What do you expect me to do now?" It seemed that she had now come down from the shock of his revelation and that her voice had regained some of it's strength.

"I was hoping you felt the same way." If she wasn't blinded by the anger that suddenly started to boil her blood, her heart would've broken at the sight of him hoping that liked him back.

"What if I did? You're leaving now." Emma's head was now spinning with everything that just happened in the past fifteen minutes and felt herself at the verge of tears, the emotions inside her too much to handle.

Before she even knew it, she was standing up and putting as much distance as she could between them and went to hide herself in the library. She sat in the far end of it, behind a bookshelf that was deserted and let the tears roll down her cheeks, her thoughts a jumble, not knowing what to do or think about Killian.

Emma missed her first class of the afternoon not wanting to go with her eyes all red and her cheeks damp. The bell rang for the fifteen minutes break and she tried to muster the strength to get up and at least attend her last class of the day. As she walked out of the library, she ran into Ruby who had a very worried look.

"There you are. Tink texted me telling me that you didn't show up to class." Her friend stopped talking when she noticed that her eyes were red. "What's wrong?"

"Can we talk about it after school?" She asked her friend as she felt her body exhausted, not knowing if she was able to talk about it right away.

That night, Ruby came over Emma's house and her parents let her friend stay over for the night. She told her everything about Killian, the first time they talked, their bus rides, their phone calls and text, the incident at Regina's party and their encounter during lunch break. Ruby's mouth was hanging open as she relate her friendship with the school bad boy in those past six months.

"So he loves you?" Emma groaned at the way her friend kept misinterpreting Killian's confession earlier.

"He didn't say he loved me. Just that I made him not want to go to England anymore, and that he thought and dreamt about me for awhile now."

"So basically he's telling you he loves you."

"He didn't use the word '_love'_." She insisted once more as she quoted the last word with her fingers.

"He may not have used the word '_love'_, but he sure was implying it!" Ruby insisted as she grabbed another chocolate chip cookie from the box that was on the bed between them.

Emma muttered a '_whatever'_ as she hugged her knee, taking a cookie as well needing something to distract her.

"How do _you_ feel about all this?"

Her fingers toyed with the cookie, her teeth digging in her bottom lip as she still tried to sort her feelings on that matter.

"I don't know. I know I enjoy having him around. He really did become a close friend and I'm honestly devastated that he's leaving for two months."

"Do you like him the way he likes you?" Her friend asked as she felt her breath hitch at _the _question.

"I don't know." Her shoulders shrugged and her vision became blurry for the second time that day.

Ruby scooted closer and wrapped her arms around Emma. The subject was dropped for the rest of the night, something that Emma was quite grateful for as she needed the emotional break.

-/-

The next day her heart sank when she noticed that Killian wasn't at school. She wondered if it was because of her or because he had already left. She really hoped it wasn't because of her since it was the last thing she wanted to do to him.

When Professor Sloan entered the class, he announced them that Killian left for England for the next two months and would be back in time for the end of the school year. Apparently they figured out a way for him to finish his courses at the same time as them.

The news came as a shock for her, despite knowing he was going back. Amidst all that happen the day before, she didn't have time to ask him when he was leaving, too preoccupied with another issue. She was heartbroken that she couldn't give him a proper goodbye, that's not how she wanted things to end between them.

The following week was hard for Emma, adjusting herself with the loss of a friend, trying to regain that peacefulness she once had before him as she took the bus. The same went for when she got home. She was so used to have him sent her a random message in the evening which often started their banter that would go on sometimes until the next morning.

Two weeks after he left, Emma was eating lunch with her friends when Neal came to sit next to her like he usually did. Only that this time, he didn't seem to want to talk to everyone else, just her. She felt her stomach twist as it then seemed to release butterflies in her stomach. Despite everything, she still liked Neal, a lot. For him to give her that kind of attention was all that she had wanted in the past months.

Neal invited her to grab a cup of hot chocolate after school, and he led her to an abandoned theme park. Despite being still a bit cold as the spring was slowly making its appearance, Emma felt good and happy for the first time since Killian had left.

It was also the first time Neal kissed her.

It was different from the first and only kiss she ever had. She blamed the alcohol for making it seem as exhilarating as she thought it was and also blamed what followed that kiss.

The next day, they went to school holding hands and kissing each other goodbye as they left for their class. Tink kept cheering when she saw the Neal and her were now dating. Emma couldn't help the small smile that crept on her face, and the red shade that appeared on her cheeks. She was dating the guy that she had a crush on for so long, but something was holding her back since he had kiss her the day before and she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

Emma turned her head around to look at where Killian used to sit, more as an habit than anything else, and then it dawned on her. She felt guilty for being with Neal after all of the things Killian had told her before he left. Slowly, her eyes went to look back at her notebook on her desk as she felt her a knot form in her stomach.

-/-

Neal kept reminding Emma that they were nearing their two months anniversary, which she knew but not for the same reasons. She would deny if anyone asked her, but she kept count of the days Killian had left. It was the only to soothe that void he had left. One day as she was walking down the hallway, she heard one of his friends say that he was coming back the first week from May. Emma mentally registered that information and the moment she had a chance, made a star on all the days of that first week as a reminder in her agenda.

She was anxious to see him, to talk to him, to clear things between them. She still didn't know how to feel about his feelings towards her, the only thing she did know was that she missed him.

Neal's company did help her keep her mind off him, but only for a little while. Unconsciously, she compared the two of them. She did have fun with her boyfriend, but not as much fun than with Killian. Emma did the same when Neal kissed her or when they fooled around. It wasn't as thrilling as it was with Killian. She didn't go as far with her boyfriend as she did with him, as they always had their clothes as a barrier, but it didn't stop the fact that she never reached that same high.

When she talked with Ruby about it, the situation driving her crazy as she couldn't understand any of it, her friend only smiled at her.

"What?" Emma asked her confused as to why her friend was smiling at her when she was clearly confused.

"You love Killian." Ruby singsonged, Emma's instant reaction was to roll her eyes as she let out an exasperated sigh.

"I already told you a hundredth time, I like Killian but not in the way you think." Ruby hummed in response which only annoyed Emma even further.

"If that's what you want to tell yourself , and deny the truth so be it." Shrugged her friend which only made her frown furrow even deeper.

-/-

May finally arrived and Emma couldn't help the twinge of excitement that settled deep in her abdomen when Monday arrived. She didn't know exactly when Killian would be back but she knew it was this week. Knowing that she was close in seeing him again made her excited to come to school.

She didn't manage to hide very well her disappointment when she didn't spot him at all that day, and the next day after that. Emma walked into to school on Wednesday a bit discouraged. She knew that there was no point in losing hope now, he was coming back she just didn't know when exactly.

That morning when she entered class, she didn't expect at all to see him sitting at the back of the class in his usual spot. The moment her eyes fell on him, her heart stopped beating for a moment as well as her breathing. She didn't realize she was standing in front of the class door looking intently at him, wondering if she was dreaming, when one of Killian's friend entered the class and bumped into her.

Emma blinked her eyes a couple of times and when she saw that he was still there, she felt this wave of happiness invade her as she realized he was finally back. She didn't know how, but somehow she managed to walk towards her desk, Tink asking her if she was alright.

She was, in fact she was more than alright. It was the first time she realized that his absence created a bigger hole in her that she originally thought, and now that she felt whole again, a huge grin on her face she told her friend that '_she never felt better'._

During the first period, she kept glancing at him and noticed the slight changes in him. His hair was a tad longer since before he left, the stubble he always kept trimmed and clean was a bit bushier than usual (not too much but enough for her to notice), and the feature that she noticed the most change were his eyes. There were dark circles under them, the usual glint that shone in them were now faded and she wanted more than anything to go over to his side and soothe whatever the pain he was currently feeling.

Throughout the day, Emma attempted more than once to talk to him but proved fruitless since he was always with his friends surrounding him or he was being held at the end of each classes by every teacher.

That evening, Emma couldn't concentrate on her homework since her mind kept drifting off to Killian. He hadn't made any attempt to reach her and it pained her to realize that he was avoiding her in some way. She couldn't blame as she thought how she left things with him before leaving.

After many attempts on trying to make progress on her studying, she abandoned any hope of doing in some and grabbed her phone as she went and laid on her bed as starting typing a message on the screen.

_Didn't catch the bus this morning. Your alarm didn't go off?_

Emma's breathing was shaky as she sent the message, nervous on whether Killian would acknowledge her message or simply ignore it. She didn't think he was the type to simply ignore it but giving how he didn't seem to even see her today, she had her doubts.

Nervousness coursed through her body when her phone vibrated in her hand and took a deep breath to help her calm her nerves before looking at his reply.

_**It did. I took the bus earlier since I needed to go see the principle before class. Also, I didn't know if you wanted to see me, given how we left things.**_

_Sorry about that. Do you want to talk? I just feel like we could talk instead of texting. _

She really hoped he would consider that option, and the growing pit in her stomach grew bigger and bigger as the minutes went by. Emma sat on her bed when her ringtone echoed in her bedroom. She tightened the hold she had on her phone as she let out a deep sigh before answering.

"Hey." She simply answered as she felt her voice shake just a tad and hoped he didn't hear it.

"Hey." The sound of his voice was enough to set butterflies in her stomach, a grin so wide appearing on her face that it almost made her cheeks hurt.

There was a moment of silence between them as they were both trying to figure out what to say, the only sound they both were able to hear was the sound of their breathing.

"I'm happy you're back. I… I missed you a lot." This time, Emma couldn't hide the nervous tone in her voice.

"So did I." Her smile grew wider if it is even possible upon hearing his words.

"I'm sorry for everything. I wish… I wish I didn't overreacted that day. You were already struggling with the fact that you were leaving and I…" Before she could even continue Killian interrupted her.

"It's okay Emma. I don't blame you."

"But still."

"It's in the past Swan, it's over. Now I'm back." She smiled at his statement. He was back, and she couldn't be more happy to have him back.

"Yeah, you are." She breathed out.

It took some time for the awkwardness between to fade but they eventually found the rhythm their friendship always held. She finally found out why Killian was so keen on going back to England in September and what made him reluctant to finally go back.

Killian's parents have always been divorced for as long as he remembered. His father moved here when he was just a boy and he stayed in England with his mother and his older brother Liam. About four years ago, her mom was diagnosed with cancer. Taking care of him proved to be difficult, especially after his brother died. She made the hard choice and sent him to live with his father so he could be properly taken care of.

He never wanted to be here in the first place, the only thing he wanted was to be at his mother's side. In the past two months, he spent one of them at her side before she passed away and spent the other planning the funeral and sorting out what was in her will.

Emma's heart ached for him, tears rolling down her cheeks as he finally told her everything. She wished in that moment that she could be next to him, wrap her arms around him and soothed his pain.

Not wanting to dwell on it any longer, Killian asked her about her which eventually led him to ask about Neal. When her boyfriend's name came up, she felt this guilt as if she was cheating. Not on Neal, but on Killian. That's when it finally hit her, the feelings that she insisted on denying but that have always been there.

She loved him.

That night after they ended their conversation with Killian promising her he would see her the next morning on the bus, Emma went to sleep with a sense of clarity. She knew what she needed to do, and knew that she had to do it as soon as possible.

-/-

She couldn't explain how it happened, but it just did. After she broke things off with Neal, it didn't take her long for her to confess the feelings she had towards Killian. She may not have used the word '_love'_ but she made damned sure he knew that she wanted him, more than a friend.

Everything went on so smoothly and naturally for them from that moment on. They just fitted so well together, it was frankly scary but it was the good kind of scary. They made quite the buzz in school and with their respective group of friends when they saw them together. They didn't understand it, or even saw it coming (she didn't either but she isn't one to complain about it). But they didn't care, he made her happy and he told her more than once how happy she made him.

In one more than one occasion she went back to his house after school to study and well, to do some others things too. Emma was quite shocked when Killian told her he was still a virgin. She was convinced that the rumours about him and all the other girls were true, but once again rumours proved to be just that. He didn't deny fooling around, but never got around to do the deed since he wanted to at least have someone special to share it with.

That's how one Friday after school she ended up on his bed, legs parted while his head was between her legs. She sucked in a breath when he sucked on her bundle of nerves while two of his fingers were slowly parting her folds, teasing her entrance. Needing to have something to hold on to, one of her hand grasped the sheets beneath her while the other grabbed a fistful of his hair, the action making him grunt.

It wasn't the first time he went down on her, but today it felt different.

_She _felt different.

For the first time, she needed _more_. More friction, more skin, more heat, _more of him_.

Her body went tense when his fingers massaged that special spot hidden inside her walls while his tongue swirled around her clit. Her arched back slowly went flat on the mattress as she felt her limbs go numb as she managed to open her eyes, hazily staring at him as he kissed his way up her covered chest.

His lips reached hers as she tasted herself on him, which proved to be such an unexpected turn on for her. She quickly gathered her wits again, her hands now fumbling with the buttons and zipper of his pants as she felt the need to touch him. She loved hearing him gasp each time her hand curled around his hot and hard shaft, still not believing that she could bring him to such mumbling mess.

After a moment she realized how much more she needed and pushed him back until he was sitting on his heels and took her shirt off in one quick movement. Emma noticed his jaw go slack when she then took her bra off as well.

"Emma." He breathed out as his fingers softly grazed the skin of her abdomen until they reached her breast, cupping them in his large strong hands.

"Killian." She whined when his thumb and index squeezed her nipples, followed by his mouth. "I want you inside me."

He lifted his head up, and she could see how much he wanted her too, his eyes dark with lust. She could also tell that he was debating with himself, as he clearly wanted more but didn't want to pressure her into doing something she would regret.

"Please." She begged him.

Killian kissed her fervently, teeth biting down her bottom lip as his tongue then went to soothe the sting that he left there. He then pushed himself back and took his pants and shirt off and Emma felt her breath hitch as she finally got to see him completely bare.

He leaned over her as he went to open the drawer in his nightstand and grabbed the box of unopened condoms. He took one of the small foil package and ripped it open. Emma watched every one of his movements, wanting to know how exactly it went on him so she could eventually be useful in that department.

Emma made a move to lean back on the bed but Killian pulled her to him as he then switched them positions. She was now on top of him, legs on each side of his hip, her wet core brushing his cock. They both gasped at the sensation, as it was something they both never felt.

"You want me to be on top?" She asked a bit confused since she didn't know why but she always imagined that her first time she would be laying on her back.

"I've heard that you can control better what you're feeling when you're on top, and I really want you to come for your first time." She smiled down at him, a wave of lust mixed with love coursing through as she looked at the most considerate boyfriend ever.

She awkwardly raised her hips while Killian lined himself with her entrance. Emma slowly sank down on him, stopping halfway through to let herself adjust to him. Her eyes were shut as she let the sensations invade her and when she managed to open them noticed that Killian was doing the same. After a moment, he was fully inside and they paused once more to relish on the feeling of having him filling her in the most wonderful and unusual way (well for now).

His hands were on her hips as he helped her move above him, which started out a bit out of rhythm as they were both quite new to it and she didn't want to crush him with her hands on his chest. After he reassured her that she wouldn't she increased the speed which made Killian moan and grunt as she rode him. Her muscles quickly started to burn, not use on pushing herself up and down that way so she settled for pressing her hips on him and grinding down on him.

Her eyes rolled back as a loud moan escaped her lips when she felt the tip of his cock rub a spot inside her that quickly made her see stars as her hands clenched on his chest leaving a trace of her fingernails on his skin. Her walls tightened around him as she came, as it then triggered his own release.

Emma fell to his side as she tried to get her bearings back as well as her breathing. She could hear her heart beating in her ear and her chest, a body feeling exhausted and sated in a way that she had never felt. She turned her head to look at him and caught him staring at the ceiling with a small smile, his chest still heaving. He must have sensed that she was looking at him since he turned his head towards her, his smile now wider.

Killian closed the space between them as one of his hand went to cup her cheek. He pressed his lips on hers softly, his forehead leaning on hers as the tip of their noses brushed.

"I love you." He told her as he leaned back enough for him to lock his blue eyes with her green ones. She was overwhelmed by the honesty and love they held and couldn't help the smile that spread on her lips, her eyes watering as she felt so full of everything.

"I love you too."

He let out a shaky laugh as if he was scared that she wouldn't reciprocate his feelings, which it was absurd. He had slowly but very surely won her heart over in the past months, even though she denied it for a long period of time.

How could she admit it to herself when she started off the year convinced that he was the worst person that ever existed?

She couldn't be more happy now that he proved her wrong.


End file.
